Alchemize™ the Holidays: FREEDOM FROM FAMILY EXPECTATIONS & ROLES
- Do you dread the holidays or your family's holiday gatherings?
- Do you ever find yourself engulfed by other people’s energy?
- Do you sacrifice your needs to take care of others in your family?
- Do you get swept away by your family’s drama or find yourself falling back into old roles or patterns around your family?
- Do you feel compelled to save your family from their emotions even though you hate doing so?
- Do you feel burdened by your family’s expectations and obligated to fulfill them?
- Do you feel guilty about living your own life?
- Do you feel your family doesn’t understand you or expects you to live out their expectations?
THESE ARE ALL COMMON ISSUES THAT MAY BE RELATED TO YOUR FAMILY PROGRAMMING. THE HOLIDAYS CAN BE A PARTICULARLY CHALLENGING TIME FOR HEALING FROM THEM.
Most of our beliefs and patterns originate from our families. Our early experiences with them shape how we see the world, how we relate to ourselves, and how we are in relationships.
Most families have expectations about how we should be or act—especially when it comes to the holidays. They may have traditions they expect us to follow or beliefs they expect us to hold. Maybe we always have to do dinner at our parents' house or gifts have to be exchanged at a sibling's holiday party.
When we visit our families, particularly during the holidays, we often find ourselves reverting into old roles. We may regress into a younger place and our child parts may become dominant. This may show up as us adopting old behaviours like complying, going along with what other people want, or not speaking up.
If we’ve been conditioned to believe that our families come first or are right, it can prevent us from living the life we really want. Our families can put a lot of pressure or guilt on us to do things the way they want or the way they've always been done. If we do try to break away to pursue our own wants or needs, we can feel guilt or shame.
Our family roles can also play a big part in our adult relationships and financial success because we carry those roles out into the world. For example, those who play the caretaker often find themselves caretaking in relationships or in codependent relationships.
If we don’t resolve these roles, we may act them out with other people, perhaps with our inlaws or even coworkers. In fact, many of the things showing up in our lives now, including weak or non-existent boundaries, unhealthy relationships, pain, financial struggles, or the need to take care of our family financially, are rooted in our family upbringing.
WHEN YOU FREE YOURSELF FROM FAMILY EXPECTATIONS AND ROLES, EVERYTHING CAN CHANGE.